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9 August 2004
Yes, folks, the weeping statue at the Inala Vietnamese "Christian Centre" was a fake. What a surprise!
Do you really believe that it would be possible to fit an electric pump inside so small a statue without vibrations giving the game away?
I think I know what has happened. This is no ordinary statue: it is an IDOL. And that means something very sinister!
In the time of the Romans, it was quite common for heathen idols to weep, or bleed, or sweat, spit and expel snot in a miraculous fashion thus encouraging dubious devotees to believe the pagan lies on the grounds that only an exceedingly powerful being could make its gold statue hock phlegm and blow snot-bubbles from an Olympian distance and without human help.
My guess is that this little porcelain tart has become a dwelling-place for Apollyon or Baphomet and that Fr Adrian Furrilly has discovered a brand new LIQUID NERVE GAS TOXIN which may come in useful in the Vatican's SECRET BIO-TERROR LABORATORIES. No wonder they're trying to hush it all up. They don't want George W Bush to notice that one of their shaved garden gnomes (wrapped in a cyan sheet = symbolising the bringer of cyanide) has become a CONDUIT for an Illuminati chemistry-set of PURE EVIL soon to be released on Protestants all around the world. That's why Satan has chosen non-English speakers as the avenue for the message of mayhem!
PS Father Joseph Nguyen Thanh Liem looks like a Vietnamese version of John Howard. I'm sure the demons chose him just to be extra hurtful.
24 May 2004
News just in: George W Bush has tumbled from a bike. Apparently, his bicycle was sabotaged by one of Kerry's aides.
Kerry fell off his own bike a few months ago. Coincidence? I think not!! It was a test run for the main event, a kind of semi-assassination attempt.
When Kerry was told Mr Bush had been in an accident, he said "Did the training wheels fall off?" Notice that nobody told him what kind of accident it was. The reporters are refusing to release the tape. They claim he said "Oh I feel so sorry for poor Mr Bush." As if.
After his "accident", Kerry climbed into a car and was driven the rest of the way home. Mr Bush, on the contrary, picked himself up and rode himself back without any help. That tells you something about their respective characters. Bush isn't one to CUT AND RUN.
I am pleased to mention that Mr Howard has not fallen off his bike ever. He is a steady man. Unfortunately not all of his colleagues have been so lucky:
(Leo McLeay) damaged his elbow when a folding bicycle he hired from the Parliament for $2 collapsed under him on Anzac Day, 1990. McLeay sued the Commonwealth and settled, 18 months later, for a payout of $65,000, which included $40,000 for "pain and suffering". A subsequent inquiry, in February 1993 (just before the election), cleared him of any jiggery-pokery in a decision the Herald reported under the headline "Leo cleared: the bike did it". But not before he resigned the speakership.
It was later proved, of course, that it had been sabotaged by a left-leaning bicycle-shop attendant.
11 February 2004
The moment I heard that they would be "handing out pillows" at the Superbowl XVIII, I knew that the organisers had reached new depths of evil and insanity unknown even in the days of the Romans, whose numerals they seem to like so much. They would be releasing balloons (not balloons of course but you know what) and hiring Satanists to provide the entertainment.
They knew that Miss Jackson, supposedly under stress as a result of her brother being on trial, was an evil woman given wholly to sin but they employed her anyway. They knew that Mr Timberlake was a groper and hater of God but they called him in too. And they got what they deserved -- the punishment that was MEAT.
And so the question of whether JJ changed the routine at the last minute without their knowledge is irrelevant. They chose to associate with a prostitute, and the consequences were earnt in full. At the moment the fireworks lit up, and Justin Timberlake ripped off that part of her blouse, they received their comeuppance.
The fabric not only of JJ's costume, but of the great nation of America, was ripped to pieces. The world beheld with the shock the horrific spectacle of an enormous D-cup breast, flopping out into the chilly air of the Houston night. Yes, a capacious anti-Christian boob, a milk-farm of malevolence, plopped out of a leather jacket and wobbled momentarily, trembling like a bowl of tapioca pudding set down suddenly on a countertop, in full view of literally trillions of God-fearing people who had turned on their television sets to watch a simple game of football.
In that moment, you could practically sense, all over America, the flame of a million candles of innocence being snuffed out in the hearts of goggle-eyed children. The horror, the dismay, the sense of nothing ever being the same again, was palpable from coast to coast, as palpable as the bouncing boob which had provided the Satanic milk to the laughing mouths of atheists unborn.
This then, is the result of the hatred, the cleverness, the scorn of God. Are you happy now, o ye scoffers and blasphemers?
14 December 2003
It has been a long time since the last update, for many reasons. I am glad to reassure my readers that I am still very much in existence -- quite overflowing with health, in fact -- and that I can only regret missing the chance to comment on many of the events of the latter half of the year. Painfully held in mind are the heckling of the Greens at the visit of George Bush to the Australian parliament, the continual attacks on Mr Blair because of (and not despite) his firm stance on the War on Terror, the attempt to subvert the US Constitution with "same-sex marriage", and many other horrors. Roy Moore, the idealist has been defeated. To whom can we now turn?
In addition, the final defeat of Simon Crean in the leadership tussle has led to the rise of Mark Latham, a squashy little character with a foul mouth and a fouler ambition.
And now it is already Christmastime again. It would be a time of unalloyed joy but for the invasion of our festival by pagan idols and vanities. Many are still under the impression that the cult of "Santa Claus" is harmless. Far from it. My own experiences will explain the true situation.
26 June 2003
Well, it's been busy hasn't it? But mostly good news.
The War Against Terror has completed Stage One with complete success. The mutterings about the weapons of mass destruction only reveal the utter defeat of the liberal commentators in the face of the smooth progress of that pure and noble action. They now seek to prosecute on technicalities.
So what happened to all that chemical stash? What happened to all those biological agents sewn into cushions and hydrogen bombs hidden under baby-lotion factories?
Well, duh! They saw the Americans coming and destroyed it all quickly. Flushed it down the loo. And now there's nothing to find. And may the delighted shouts of the liberated Iraqis ring in the ears of the doubting Thomases for years to come. Stage Two: convert them to Christianity. Mr Graham is already onto it.
Meanwhile, in Australia, a minor mishap. The Governor-General, Dr Hollingworth, former archbishop, has been thrown out on his ear. Astonishing, really. A blameless sheep sacrificed on the altar of Political Correctness, that foul and bestial god. Accused of rape by a drug-addled bimbo and of "failing to act promptly" when told more tattle-tales about alleged chasing of choirboys. And straight away he is thrown onto the scrap heap of the old and useless, merely tossed onto the conveyor belt that leads to God's own incinerator. Good grief.
Does this hold a lesson for us? Yes it does: the Failure of Anglicanism.
Hollingworth's dismal dithering, his hemming and hawing, his refusal to defend himself from the onslaught of the liberal media, bear all the Holling-marks of the hesitation-before-truth that is the Church of England. A church that is selling off all assets to Satan even as we speak, allowing unrepetant sodomisers into the sanctum sanctorum, there to do their buggery will and to hell with the rest of us. A church where Moderation has muddied the already Laodicean waters where millions of the smelly and impure bathe for lack of knowledge.
We can only hope that a bit of military discipline from a real general can restore the office of the Governor-General to its previous heights of universal esteem.
23 March 2003
It is my pleasure to announce the revamped JMP-ONLINE site, twice as large and back in business to see you through 2003!
And what an exciting year it's been!
Already our troops are off to Mesopotamia to bomb a bit of sense into a country that allows a person like Saddam Hussein to be a leader. I have been watching the television, supervising every aspect of these preparations with a satisfied and knowing eye. Just the other day, I heard about a new Smart Missile which will penetrate deep into the Earth's crust and blow Saddam's little bathroom bunker sky-high. Not even 100 feet of concrete will come between that tinpot dictator and his just deserts, in the form of the fiery destructive vengeance of George W. Bush, the latter being GOD's own representative on Earth in these Latter Days.
Remember the "Euro"? Yes, that ridiculous little game is just about up. It's been a year, and already the world is clamouring for its abolition. Not one Italian can say that he thinks in Euros, according to one recent poll. Of course not! Each individual currency is EXPRESSLY created for each given country, moulded to the character of its inhabitants. The Mark is solid and steady, the Lira is voluble and flighty. The Franc is pretentious and overbearing, the Drachma all ancient and dramatic. The idea of replacing these divinely-ordained units with the UNITARIAN's ideal "standardisation", the obscene "Euro", named after the Eurinyes of antique legend, can surely be attributed to the Satanic influence everywhere visible nowadays in the Corridors of Power.
In Australia, the Liberal Party has had a number of setbacks, so that now the only stronghold is the Federal government, all state governments having been raided and occupied by the "Labor" champagne socialists. But that is all set to change in 2003. Simon Crean being firmly ensconced as Opposition Leader, there is no possibility whatsoever of ANY overturning of the Howard dynasty and his national Family of which we are all glad members. And soon we will be with his successor, Peter Costello, the hardest-working man in Australia, the honourable and noble anointed one of the World's Favourite PM. We can't wait!!!
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© John Murray Penfold 2003
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